


I'm Sorry

by Titti



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-08-01
Updated: 2001-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-15 22:11:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike apologizes</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of the I'm So Sorry series. Other parts include Angel/Spike by Zadi, Riley/Buffy by Starcrossed, and Xander/Spike by Karen, Spike/Dawn by me. These can be found at http://www.zadiworld.com or http://www.geocities.com/starcrossedstories

Title: I'm Sorry, Dawn  
Pairing: Dawn/Spike  
Rating: R

Dear Dawn,

If you're reading my letter, it means that I am no more. I could never reveal all of this to you while we were alive. You are my childe and I am your sire. Certain rules have to be maintained.

I wanted to apologize for many things. I thought for a long that that if we didn't have the blood bond you would probably despise me. I was wrong, but please believe me when I tell you that I did my best.

I will never forgive myself for taking your sister's life. I know she made the decision to jump, but it was my job to protect you and I failed. I should have died that day, not her.

I wish I could say that I am sorry to have taken your soul, but I can't. I needed you in my life. I needed to feel your blood and hers. I wanted to taste it and I did. Only now I know that I crave your blood more than any other.

I am sorry if I made you live your unlife in her shadow. I remember too many times when you were just a substitute. The times I screamed her name while making love to you. The nights that I held you tight and talked about my love for my blonde slayer. The times I told you that no woman would ever hold the special place that Buffy has in my heart.

You never complained. You are my childe after all and ready to accept what your sire says. I see the adoration in your eyes every time you look at me. I can feel your blood screaming for mine. I know those feelings well, because I, before you, had them for my own sire.

Only now, I have realized that there is more in you. Your love transcends the blood connection. It's a love that started before becoming a vampire. My heart aches that I did not see it before. I was so blinded by my pain to see what you were offering me: true love.

I promise that from this moment on I'll spend my unlife to make it up to you. You are special, and I will threat you as such. You'll be my Dark Queen and together we will discover the world and ourselves.

I hope that you will never read this letter, because if you do it means that we are no longer together. But if the day should come, please know that you are my love. You have taken that special place in my heart.

For Eternity,

Your Sire and Your Love

* * *

Title: I'm Sorry, Buffy  
Pairing: Buffy/Spike  
Rating: PG-13

Dear Buffy,

I know you will never have the chance to read this letter and this is the biggest regret of my existence. I promised you that I would protect the little one until the end of the world but in the end you were the one to do it.

I failed you in more ways that one, my love. You just don't know about it. Your death and Dawn's are on my shoulders. If I had kept my promise none of this would have happened. But I was too weak.

I didn't fight doc hard enough. I wasn't quick enough in getting rid of that damn knife that spilled the blood of an innocent to destroy the world. I wasn't capable of preventing your death. And I sure as hell I haven't kept my promise to keep Nibblet safe.

When you died, Dawn acquired your powers as the slayer. We figured that since the monks made her from your blood she somehow accessed your powers when you died. I tried to stop her. I tried to get her away from Sunnydale. I wanted her to forget about demons and vampires, witches and slayers. I wanted her to have the life you never had.

Well, she is as stubborn as you, my slayer. She looked at me with those puppy eyes and I saw you. I couldn't refuse her then. I fought by her side just like I did with you. We slayed the demons. We stopped apocalypses. We fought master vampires and monsters from other dimension. Your little sister and I took over where you left off.

But in the end I wasn't capable to save her from the world. I know you must be disappointed, but I am afraid you will hate me when I tell you what happened. We fought evil every night, but in the end it was a car accident that took her from me.

I went to the hospital and I could feel her slip by. The doctors told us to hope and pray. They couldn't fool me. I knew she was going to die and leave me just like you did. I couldn't accept the thought of living without you or her.

When I felt her die, I didn't waste time. I drained her and brought her back. My little bit is now my childe, my lover, and my companion for eternity.

I hope you'll forgive me for what I did but I had no choice. She is my link to you and I couldn't sever it. With sadness in my heart, I remain

Yours for Eternity,

Spike


End file.
